On Cooking.

So last night I made Thai Curry with Rice and Chicken with Thai Peanut Dip.

Okay, so my friend Thomas helped me make it.

We made the curry and peanut dip from scratch.  Here's our ingredient list:

Limes
Chicken
Brown Sugar
Lemongrass
2 Cans of Coconut Milk
Green Beans
Eggplant
Green Bell Peppers
Zucchini
Fish sauce
Soy Sauce
Garlic
Rice
Peanut Oil and Peanuts
Curry Paste

Many of you know this:  I am not a cook.  I know how to make one or two basic meals but I feel completely incompetent in the kitchen.  I don't know where things are.  Even if I did I wouldn't know what to do with them.  So learning to cook is a little bit of a stretch for me.

But hey, it's about time.

So Thomas came over to my apartment and stood over my shoulder with a glass of wine, coaching me through the chopping and sauteing of the vegetables.  The mincing of the garlic and the pouring of the coconut milk at just the right time into the pans.  Half way through I said, "Hey, next week could we try something a little simpler?"  He laughed and said, "Yeah...now that we're doing this I'm realizing how complicated it is."

What I like about Thomas' style of cooking is that he kind of wings it.  He's also a great teacher.  I wanted to do everything just right-- as if by chopping the eggplant in 1/4" slices rather than 1/5" slices was going to make that big a difference.  As if there's a right and wrong spoon to use in mixing the curry.  He'd answer my very specific and anxiety-ridden questions for a while, but towards the end he just started saying, "Whatever you think."  You've got the ingredients right. You're not an idiot.  Chop the vegetables how you want.  Mix the curry with whatever you want.  And occasionally he'd say-- "No-- use this."

I think this could also be true of life.  There's a recipe.  There are some basic guidelines to making a life come out tasty.  But there's lots of room for improvisation.  You can change the recipe a lot before it comes out as something else.  Last night we added too much vegetables in our green curry and Thomas just said, "Okay, this is going to be more of a vegetable dish than curry."  He rolled with it.  It was his job to help me not make many big mistakes (like mixing in laundry detergent or something) and he would tell me what he likes to do sometimes.  He also helped me adjust when I strayed from the recipe.  And in the end he helped me take one small step towards being comfortable in my own kitchen.

On last thing:  we also talked about why he loved to cook.  We talked about what it means to him, where he is in his life and how cooking nurtures his soul as well as his stomach.  He said his job is so intangible that it's nice to come home and create something.  "Like legos that you eat," says I.  "Sure," Thomas said.  It made a lot of sense to me.  I could see cooking playing that role in my life, too.

So thanks, Thomas.  Here's to good friends and great food and the art of creating something tasty.

...and to simpler recipes.

Walk.

Recently I have fallen in love with going on walks.

I like the feeling of going on a walk with someone.  Sometimes you talk, sometimes you don't.  Depending on who the person is you hold hands or maybe you just walk along side each other.  You know the other person is there even if you're not looking at them.  I like to go on walks alone, too.

On walks I like the sound of lawnmowers in the distance.
I like the sounds of birds arguing with each other about something that has nothing to do with you.
I like the slow, steady progress of even doing the same 4 block loop over and over.
I like ducking for branches and hearing the pat shuffle pat of my own footsteps.

I pray when I walk.  Talking to God for me is a lot like trying to get a child with ADD to sit still.  I don't think He minds, though.  And I'm glad to just sort of go on a walk with God, too.  Not always talking.  No pressure.  Occasionally asking Him for a miracle here or there.

Sometimes I listen to music.  John Mayer Trio is good walking company.  And often times people drive by staring at the guy walking down the sidewalk doing air guitar solos.  Doesn't bother me. I'm getting my jam on.

I really like going on walks at dusk.  When the sun bends over the far corners of the earth just to light the clouds at new angles.  It's at this time that Life just gets home from work, kicking off its shoes and sighing from a hard day's work.

I like that these things all happen whether or not I'm around.

People mow lawns.  Birds sing.  The clouds bask and pose in the sun's fading light.

All of it kind of goes on unaware of me.  Yet I still feel privileged to be able to see it, feel it, take a stroll in it.  While it happens with or without me it still feels like somehow its a gift for me...and for anyone else with the time to look up or listen or put one more step in front of the other.  It feels like I'm getting to watch something special, like I'm at the Grand Canyon or at a wedding or waiting to hold my first child.

It makes me grateful to be alive and it helps me feel like no matter what the next turn around the corner brings, everything is going to be okay.

In many ways I'm baffled it's taken me this long to discover these things called "walks."  Maybe I was too busy before, which now seems like being too busy to breathe.  It strikes me that these moments have been available to me every dusk since the day I could walk.  The sun has been setting, the clouds have been showing off, the birds have been chattering for years without my recollection or enjoyment.

Makes me wonder what else is out there to be enjoyed that I simply haven't noticed yet.

Let's go find out.

My Top 10 Movies of 2010

Last year I wrote a blog on the best films of 2009.  Continuing the tradition here are my top 10 films for 2010.  Would love to see your additions to the list as well as thoughts about my list.  Happy New Year!

10.  How To Train Your Dragon
Part of me wants to love this film simply because it's the best non-Disney/PIXAR animated feature since An American Tail.  Visually this film is stunning (the flying scenes are the most exhilarating since The Rocketeer) and -- holy cow! -- it actually has an endearing (and original) story!  I'm rooting for Jeffery Katzenberg at DreamWorks Animation to create more quality work like this and less garbage like Shark Tale, Antz and Shrek 4.

9.  Toy Story 3
This is weird to say, but if anyone other than PIXAR would have made this film it would be number one on my list.  Somehow when you expect greatness you're not as satisfied when it comes as you are when you're surprised by it.  We expect greatness from PIXAR.  With Toy Story 3 they delivered. 

8.  Shutter Island
This film was overlooked because of another little "is it real or is it not?" film starring Leonardo DiCaprio this year.  But Shutter Island is perhaps more haunting than Inception and will leave you talking less about how cool the falling fight scenes were and more about what it means to be sane in the face of extreme loss and shame.

7.  The Social Network
An obvious choice.  Critics loved it.  I mostly loved Aaron Sorkin's expected whip-smart dialogue.  For anyone missing The West Wing's walk-and-talk's as much as I do it was like visiting with an old friend...and listening like mad making sure you don't miss anything brilliant.  I loved David Fincher's direction but was a little confused as to why it was heralded for how AMAZINGLY it captured a generation.  Maybe that's because it captured my generation and I'm like, "Yeah, we wear hoodies.  Big deal."

6.  The Fighter
From my point of view this is not a boxer movie.  It's a movie about the tensions of a dysfunctional family that never really resolve (while just about every other tension does).  I loved the bold direction.  The acting was just plain fun to watch and I shed a tear or two.

5.  Waiting For Superman
The mechanics of this documentary weren't great...but it's message sure is.  If you would have told me 10 years ago that a liberal filmmaker heralded for a documentary about global warming would later make a documentary demonizing teacher's unions I would never have believed you.  These times, they are a-changin'.  The stories of the kids they follow are gripping-- but more so is the film's scathing criticisms of our failing public schools as well as the championing of the heroes who are trying create bold alternatives for those who could never afford it.

4.  Inception
I loved the falling fight scenes.  What can I say?  Christopher Nolan is a genius.

3.  The Town
People are determined not to like Ben Affleck.  I never understood that.  Can't we just remember Good Will Hunting, Dogma, Hollywoodland, Armageddon, Boiler Room, Shakespeare in Love and Gone Baby Gone?  One critic heralded Ben as the next Clint Eastwood.  After Gone Baby Gone and The Town and I tend to agree.  This film was just beautifully done.  Congratulations, Ben.

2. Waking Sleeping Beauty
I got to see a special screening of this film with director Don Hahn (who also produced Beauty and The Best and The Lion King).  The story of Disney's decline in the late 70s and 80s and it's short-lived resurrection from '84 to '94 is a great case study on why organizations rise and fall.  What do Tim Burton, John Lasseter and Brad Bird have in common?  They all left or were fired by Disney Animation in the 80s and they all are some of Disney's greatest assets today.  Go figure.

1.  The King's Speech
I'm getting ready to see this film for the third time tonight.  I love everything about this film.  The vulnerability and power of the characters.  Every scene is both poignant emotionally and beautiful visually.  It is art, and the story of a stuttering shadow of a man desiring to do something extraordinary with his life resonates with me.  If you can handle deliberately paced stories then please go see this movie.

Honorable Mentions:

Get Him To The Greek
Except for one of the most awkward sex scenes I've ever seen this film was by far the funniest film of the year (there weren't that many to choose from).  Unfortunately it won't be recognized as such by anyone other than MTV or the People's Choice Awards.  The Golden Globes seem to think that The Tourist is funnier.  I agree:  The Golden Globes picking The Tourist for their Best Comedy category is downright hilarious.


Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
What the critics praised The Social Network for in capturing the ethos of my generation this film does for the next.  It's plugged in, pluralistic, bipolar, almost disgustingly hip and indie, and it's optimistic if not idealistic.  As someone who has worked with college students for a living it is the best film I've seen that captures the ethos of the generation to come.  I loved it.

I Love These.

Every December Matt Shapiro puts together the best montage of films from that year.  With my Top 10 Films of 2010 blog post coming out tomorrow I thought I'd include this as well.  It's an homage to the art, which is really an homage to life-- one of longing, adventure, love, loss and greatness.  Give yourself the next 4 minutes to be inspired.  I love these.

Silent Night.

So the other night a friend of mine let me go with him to the Make A Wish dinner at the mysterious 'Club 33' at Disneyland.  I could do a whole blog series on the evening-- from pictures with Mickey to the 5 course meal and the unbelievable company and inspiring cause.

But the one thing I want to share now is how the night ended.  The last course was served at 10:30pm (I had salmon-- I can still taste it).  We walked out of the club around 11:30pm.  By this time the park had been closed for hours.  Everyone else was waiting for an escort from the park to lead us to the exit.  But my friend looks at me, and with a grin that is one part innocent and one part impish he said, "Let's find our own way out."

So we spent a bit of time walking through Disneyland park-- with all the lights on-- by ourselves.  The flames of the Tiki Room were on.  The Magic Kingdom was all lit up.  Main Street was open.

And all was silent.

The Kingdom was alive...but still.  Frozen in a warm peace, with just the sounds of our footsteps and occasional murmurs of conversation lifting into the brisk night sky.

So, one of my favorite authors is Frederick Buechner.  Any list of the 20th Century's greatest writers has Frederick's name on it.  He's kind of the male equivalent of Flannery O'Conner.  In his book, "Telling the Truth" he writes about silence as it relates to truth:

"[Truth] is the television news, but with the sound turned off.  There are no words to explain it or explain it away, no words to cushion or sharpen the shock of it, no definition given to dispose of it with such as a fire, a battle, a strike, a treaty, a beauty, an accident.  Just the thing itself, life itself, or as much of it as the screen can hold, flickering away in the dark of a room.


A man is making a speech outside on the flight of stone steps with one fist going up and down, his lips moving, a single wisp of hair lifted up by the breeze like a feather, and there is a crowd watching him or not watching him as the spirit moves them or fails to move them.  They are black and white, men and women, and even some of the ones who are watching him seem to have their eyes turned inwards as though they are watching something else inside, listening to some other voice.  

Somewhere else jerry-built houses lie in ruin, and a fat woman in a Mother Hubbard stands in what was once a doorway with a cat in her arms, behind her a man in a T-shirt with a caved-in mouth.  A beautiful young woman in a long dress sits down at a piano, and a pair of men carrying a body on a stretcher between them hot foot it down a city street in a running crouch while from high windows snipers' bullets fly out silent as a dream.  A great ship cuts through the water with many flags.  A whole mountainside is awash with flame.  A girl in a picture hat raises a pair of binoculars to her eyes.

Truth itself cannot be stated.  Truth simply is, and is what is, the good with the bad, the joy with the despair, the presence and the absence of God..."

I think this is why I like silence so much, why I used to go on walks in the nearby park when it was snowing outside when I was in college.  The crunch of snow under my feet and the distinct sound of silent snowfall.

Silence captures a moment and can-- for some-- make life feel more present.

This holiday season go on a walk.  Find someplace quiet.  Leave the ipods, radios, ambiance and company (if you can stand it) behind and be alone with Life.  It is happening, always.  The good and the bad.  The joy and despair.  The presence and absence of God.

That night, my friend didn't know, but I had always wanted to explore the Disney Park when it was empty.  Walt used to do that often before the park opened in the morning.  I think he liked the silence as well.

So while we were at Club 33 to celebrate an organization that made wishes come true for others, being there with my friend made a wish come true for me.